Our Idea Of Love – From Me and Mine To You and Yours
Whenever someone asks me about my unwavering capacity to hope, I often smile and take a deep breath. It’s not that I don’t have an answer, but rather that my answer is simple yet incredibly complex. Love has been a constant in my life and has taken many forms. It’s the foundation of who I am and what I aspire to be. Love is a phenomenon that I believe is consistent throughout nature. It’s as dedicated as a ship captain amid a stormy sea, yet as calming as the sight of the shore after the most tragic of storms.
My understanding of love began at home, where I witnessed relationships that defied conventional norms and took boundless forms. It was there that I learned to respect others as individuals and to let them be, yet to look after them selflessly. This helped me heal from the deepest wounds – mentally, physically, and emotionally. Over time, I came to accept love as the way to be and who I wanted to become. Though I’ve experienced heartbreak and sleepless nights, the deeper the darkness pulled me in, the more I realized that love was the only way to emerge from it. I learned very early on that when you love yourself to the point where it overflows, that’s when you’re ready to share it with someone else. It’s an unparalleled feeling that has gotten me through my worst moments.
In the movie Notebook, based on the romantic novel by American novelist Nicholas Sparks, there’s a scene that never fails to tug at my heartstrings. Noah, the protagonist, continues to build his dream house for years, even though he’s unsure if Allie, his true love, will come back to him. He had no hope, but his heart remained filled with love for her. This defined love at its purest – to become one with another, even in their absence. Love extends beyond the periphery of the reasonable. It’s a choice we make every second. It’s about choosing to love someone, even when they’re not present, even when the future is uncertain.
One of my favorite movies, “Call Me By Your Name,” expressed how nature has its ways of unveiling our weaknesses. It’s through those weaknesses that we gather the strength to hold onto the pieces of ourselves that remind us of our core, our beginnings in the world. Love is one of those pieces that remind us of our humanity, our vulnerability, and our strength.
My book is a humble attempt to inspire the kind of strength that love ignited in me in the moments I barely remembered how to breathe.